This post feels like an extension of my 'stop slut shaming' post, and I feel like I touch on the subject a lot, but it's something I'm really passionate about and something that I'm really determined to help in the fight against. Disclaimer; the title is not supposed to in any way reflect how I really feel about girls and boys. Some boys kick ass, some girls suck, and vice-versa. It just seemed like a fitting title for a blog. And I'm not sure why I'm justifying how I title my blogs, but I know how you internet people can be.
About a week and a half ago, Ian and I were on the train from Sheffield to Leeds, sat on a table across from 4 football fans, who are likely to name themselves 'lads'. Hearing their conversations made me so upset and angry. The way they spoke about women with no respect at all, the way they dubbed all women as idiots. They were discussing how they were having sex with girls over than their girlfriends and how their girlfriends were too stupid to notice.
They went on to discuss how all 'lads' are exactly like this and that's the reason girls don't trust boys. Wrong. I trust Ian completely, and I know of loads of people in trusting, committed, faithful relationships. So, if those gentlemen on the train think they are a voice of a generation, they are sorely mistaken.
Speaking of voices of a generation, I fear that my previous statement announcing that they aren't may be totally wrong. The voice of my generation seems to be that of girls are 'sluts' and stupid and deserve everything they get. Wrong. We live in an age where we think men and women are equal, but it's just not the case. Women are taught how to avoid being raped, to stay in groups at night, to carry rape alarms, to fear men. It's terrifying to walk alone at night as a woman, and it's just as terrifying to see a man on his own. A man on his own, or men in groups to a woman on her own are instantly a rape threat. Girls, imagine how that feels as a man, to be doing something perfectly innocent and to be thought of as a rapist through no fault of his own, but through the way that women are taught. Boys, did you ever get lectures on how having sex with someone when they don't want to isn't okay? About how not to become a rapist? Probably not, no.
There are some really interesting adverts on the TV (here in the UK, at least) about abuse, and if you could see it would you stop it? Would you stop it? This goes out to everyone, would you be able to stand up to someone, who may be a friend or a family member and say stop that, that's abuse? I don't think a lot of people would, through fear or through sheer lack of education. What is abuse, anyway? She normally wants to have sex, she's just playing hard to get. No means no.
I fear this has become a rape based post, which was not it's initial intentions, but I suppose it's not a bad thing to be raising awareness of. But what I'm trying to say is, if a woman dresses up and puts make up on, boys, that's probably not for you actually. Women have a huge variety of reasons for wearing make up and dressing up. Personally, make up is something I enjoy putting on and experimenting with, it's also a self esteem thing for me. But I know some women who do it so other women don't judge them!
So then, boys on the train, girls are not stupid, and it is not okay to play with someone's feelings by cheating in a relationship. I really hope you're reading this, and I really hope you change your ways, soon.
