Oh my lord I haven't written in such a long time. I have no idea what to write about, I wanted to write about Miley Cyrus, but that seems trivial, and I don't know what to say. I wanted to write about other things too, but I'm having the worst writers block of all time. I want to keep working on my novel, but again, I don't know what to write. However, I figure the only way to get over it is by writing, and the easiest thing for me to write is a blog post, right? Right. I think.
Has anyone got any tips on overcoming writers block?
Anyway, the reason I've been away from the blog for so long is due to a pretty huge change in personal circumstances. Myself and Ian broke up, and I'm living with my mum again. I'm suffering pretty heavily with my anxiety and depression again, also.
It's odd, I haven't taken the break-up as hard as I feel maybe I should have, I'm moving on from that and healing quite quickly. It's given me a chance to review my life and my situation and look at how I want to move forward with my life, which is nice. I really do want this blog to be successful, so I do solemnly swear that posts will be at least weekly from now on. There, I wrote it down, I have to stick to it now.
I'm not going to slam Ian on here or anything like that, we're both grown ups and the reason for the split is personal, but I had to get it out on here, I don't really know why. But there shall be no further mentions of it, unless of course, it helps with a post.
But, it's business as usual from here on out. I'm feeling more positive and ready to make some changes and some progress. Just need to think of some damn post ideas.
Thursday 12 September 2013
Sunday 16 June 2013
Feminism ≠ Man hating.
Arrrgh feminists, I hear you cry. Man hating militant lesbians, the lot of them. It's disgusting, really. I mean, they can drive, they can vote, what more do they want?
UGH. Stop that. Feminism is not man hating, feminism is about women being equal to men, and frankly we're not. It's easy to think that women and men are equal, I mean, we can vote and we can work, we can do all the things men can. But, that's half the battle. There is still a wage gap between men and women, and women's careers often get derailed because they want to start a family. Most women have to choose between kids and a career. Women can't walk alone at night without fear of being attacked by a man, and I for one am sick of walking home with keys between my fingers, just in case.
That being said, I don't hate men. Far from it. Men are great, I love my boyfriend and I have tonnes of friends who are men. And my dad is the greatest person in the world. But society and I hate to say it...men, have created this divide between men and women. Women can be just as strong, as smart and as successful as men. But somehow being feminine is an insult, I remember calling my male cousins 'girls' as insults. Like somehow being a woman is insulting, no one ever insults anyone and says "god, you're such a man". Being a man is something we should strive for, women should be more like men, and men should be men. Listen to yourselves.
"Man up", "grow some balls", ah yes, because those things make you a better person. To quote Betty White "Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding."
Being female is not a weakness, and being feminine is not anti-feminist.
Now, for the boys, we know this isn't your fault, you've grown up with no need to fight to get what you want, you're a boy - you can do whatever you want. You'll never have to worry about your future simply because of what's between your legs. You'll never have to fight for any of your rights. You can be strong, powerful and manly, and if you're not...you're a woman.
But, all this being said, I don't hate men, I think that's an absurd idea, I dislike people who belittle the feminist movement, who think that women are being unreasonable, who put obstacles in place for women. I hate society, feminism is not something that should even exist. We are all human, we should all be equal.
UGH. Stop that. Feminism is not man hating, feminism is about women being equal to men, and frankly we're not. It's easy to think that women and men are equal, I mean, we can vote and we can work, we can do all the things men can. But, that's half the battle. There is still a wage gap between men and women, and women's careers often get derailed because they want to start a family. Most women have to choose between kids and a career. Women can't walk alone at night without fear of being attacked by a man, and I for one am sick of walking home with keys between my fingers, just in case.
That being said, I don't hate men. Far from it. Men are great, I love my boyfriend and I have tonnes of friends who are men. And my dad is the greatest person in the world. But society and I hate to say it...men, have created this divide between men and women. Women can be just as strong, as smart and as successful as men. But somehow being feminine is an insult, I remember calling my male cousins 'girls' as insults. Like somehow being a woman is insulting, no one ever insults anyone and says "god, you're such a man". Being a man is something we should strive for, women should be more like men, and men should be men. Listen to yourselves.
"Man up", "grow some balls", ah yes, because those things make you a better person. To quote Betty White "Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding."
Being female is not a weakness, and being feminine is not anti-feminist.
Now, for the boys, we know this isn't your fault, you've grown up with no need to fight to get what you want, you're a boy - you can do whatever you want. You'll never have to worry about your future simply because of what's between your legs. You'll never have to fight for any of your rights. You can be strong, powerful and manly, and if you're not...you're a woman.
But, all this being said, I don't hate men, I think that's an absurd idea, I dislike people who belittle the feminist movement, who think that women are being unreasonable, who put obstacles in place for women. I hate society, feminism is not something that should even exist. We are all human, we should all be equal.
Tuesday 23 April 2013
Girls Rule, Boys Drool.
So this is something that's been bothering me for almost 2 weeks now. So now seems like as good a time as any to write about it. And I'm listening to the Les Mis soundtrack as I write so I'm feeling roused and passionate.
This post feels like an extension of my 'stop slut shaming' post, and I feel like I touch on the subject a lot, but it's something I'm really passionate about and something that I'm really determined to help in the fight against. Disclaimer; the title is not supposed to in any way reflect how I really feel about girls and boys. Some boys kick ass, some girls suck, and vice-versa. It just seemed like a fitting title for a blog. And I'm not sure why I'm justifying how I title my blogs, but I know how you internet people can be.
About a week and a half ago, Ian and I were on the train from Sheffield to Leeds, sat on a table across from 4 football fans, who are likely to name themselves 'lads'. Hearing their conversations made me so upset and angry. The way they spoke about women with no respect at all, the way they dubbed all women as idiots. They were discussing how they were having sex with girls over than their girlfriends and how their girlfriends were too stupid to notice.
They went on to discuss how all 'lads' are exactly like this and that's the reason girls don't trust boys. Wrong. I trust Ian completely, and I know of loads of people in trusting, committed, faithful relationships. So, if those gentlemen on the train think they are a voice of a generation, they are sorely mistaken.
Speaking of voices of a generation, I fear that my previous statement announcing that they aren't may be totally wrong. The voice of my generation seems to be that of girls are 'sluts' and stupid and deserve everything they get. Wrong. We live in an age where we think men and women are equal, but it's just not the case. Women are taught how to avoid being raped, to stay in groups at night, to carry rape alarms, to fear men. It's terrifying to walk alone at night as a woman, and it's just as terrifying to see a man on his own. A man on his own, or men in groups to a woman on her own are instantly a rape threat. Girls, imagine how that feels as a man, to be doing something perfectly innocent and to be thought of as a rapist through no fault of his own, but through the way that women are taught. Boys, did you ever get lectures on how having sex with someone when they don't want to isn't okay? About how not to become a rapist? Probably not, no.
There are some really interesting adverts on the TV (here in the UK, at least) about abuse, and if you could see it would you stop it? Would you stop it? This goes out to everyone, would you be able to stand up to someone, who may be a friend or a family member and say stop that, that's abuse? I don't think a lot of people would, through fear or through sheer lack of education. What is abuse, anyway? She normally wants to have sex, she's just playing hard to get. No means no.
I fear this has become a rape based post, which was not it's initial intentions, but I suppose it's not a bad thing to be raising awareness of. But what I'm trying to say is, if a woman dresses up and puts make up on, boys, that's probably not for you actually. Women have a huge variety of reasons for wearing make up and dressing up. Personally, make up is something I enjoy putting on and experimenting with, it's also a self esteem thing for me. But I know some women who do it so other women don't judge them!
So then, boys on the train, girls are not stupid, and it is not okay to play with someone's feelings by cheating in a relationship. I really hope you're reading this, and I really hope you change your ways, soon.
This post feels like an extension of my 'stop slut shaming' post, and I feel like I touch on the subject a lot, but it's something I'm really passionate about and something that I'm really determined to help in the fight against. Disclaimer; the title is not supposed to in any way reflect how I really feel about girls and boys. Some boys kick ass, some girls suck, and vice-versa. It just seemed like a fitting title for a blog. And I'm not sure why I'm justifying how I title my blogs, but I know how you internet people can be.
About a week and a half ago, Ian and I were on the train from Sheffield to Leeds, sat on a table across from 4 football fans, who are likely to name themselves 'lads'. Hearing their conversations made me so upset and angry. The way they spoke about women with no respect at all, the way they dubbed all women as idiots. They were discussing how they were having sex with girls over than their girlfriends and how their girlfriends were too stupid to notice.
They went on to discuss how all 'lads' are exactly like this and that's the reason girls don't trust boys. Wrong. I trust Ian completely, and I know of loads of people in trusting, committed, faithful relationships. So, if those gentlemen on the train think they are a voice of a generation, they are sorely mistaken.
Speaking of voices of a generation, I fear that my previous statement announcing that they aren't may be totally wrong. The voice of my generation seems to be that of girls are 'sluts' and stupid and deserve everything they get. Wrong. We live in an age where we think men and women are equal, but it's just not the case. Women are taught how to avoid being raped, to stay in groups at night, to carry rape alarms, to fear men. It's terrifying to walk alone at night as a woman, and it's just as terrifying to see a man on his own. A man on his own, or men in groups to a woman on her own are instantly a rape threat. Girls, imagine how that feels as a man, to be doing something perfectly innocent and to be thought of as a rapist through no fault of his own, but through the way that women are taught. Boys, did you ever get lectures on how having sex with someone when they don't want to isn't okay? About how not to become a rapist? Probably not, no.
There are some really interesting adverts on the TV (here in the UK, at least) about abuse, and if you could see it would you stop it? Would you stop it? This goes out to everyone, would you be able to stand up to someone, who may be a friend or a family member and say stop that, that's abuse? I don't think a lot of people would, through fear or through sheer lack of education. What is abuse, anyway? She normally wants to have sex, she's just playing hard to get. No means no.
I fear this has become a rape based post, which was not it's initial intentions, but I suppose it's not a bad thing to be raising awareness of. But what I'm trying to say is, if a woman dresses up and puts make up on, boys, that's probably not for you actually. Women have a huge variety of reasons for wearing make up and dressing up. Personally, make up is something I enjoy putting on and experimenting with, it's also a self esteem thing for me. But I know some women who do it so other women don't judge them!
So then, boys on the train, girls are not stupid, and it is not okay to play with someone's feelings by cheating in a relationship. I really hope you're reading this, and I really hope you change your ways, soon.
Friday 22 March 2013
Let's Talk: Body Modifications
Hurrah for serious blog posts! I've decided I'm going to do a (hopefully) monthly feature, where I talk about something, and don't always share my opinion, but share opposing sides. So I'm going to kick it off with something dear to my heart...body modifications.
For those of you who don't know, Wikipedia defines body modification as:
Body modification (or body alteration) is the deliberate altering of the human anatomy or phenotype. It is often done for aesthetics, sexual enhancement, rites of passage, religious beliefs, to display group membership or affiliation, to create body art, for shock value, and as self-expression, among others reasons. In its most broad definition it includes plastic surgery, socially acceptable decoration (e.g., common ear piercing in many societies), and religious rites of passage (e.g., circumcision in a number of cultures), as well as the modern primitive movement.
You can see the full article here
Body mods are something that are becoming more and more common and you see more and more people in the street with tattoos and piercings in places other than their ears. But speaking to modified people, you see more and more cases of people being refused jobs and being treated differently in public due to body mods. So is it right to discriminate against modified people? Is it even discrimination? I spoke to a mother and daughter who share very different views on body modifications.
Rachel: I think tattoos are awesome. They become a part of the person who gets it, they are personal to the person and have a meaning to them, they may mark an occasion or a period of life. They are a way of self expression, and maybe to remember something special and could be like a scrapbook on the skin I have three tattoos (even though Mum thinks I have more -_-), all which are special to me and I love showing them off! I don't have any piercings any more other than my ears, but have had my lip and nose done in the past. I am supportive over friends getting tattoos and piercings and stuff, I've even told my Mum that getting a tattoo should definitely be on her bucket list.
Jo: My views may appear a little old fashioned to you, but Rachel will confirm, I am quite open minded, and prefer to discuss rather than dictate. However, on this matter, I have very strong views. Piercings, yes, I have my ears and my naval pierced (my mid life crisis along with a sports car) but both, I can cover up or remove if and when necessary without too many problems. I do not have any tattoos. I think that it is ok for any individual to modify their body in whichever way they choose, I am not so narrow minded that I would form an opinion on a person because of their tattoos or piercings. However, I am fully aware of how many of the general public feel about them, and also how employers judge (sometimes unfairly) and it could effect an individuals future career etc. (hence my reasons for Rachel not doing it) Some people, especially the elderly, are afraid of people with body modifications or tattoos. Back in the dark ages, many people who had tattoos were seen as trouble makers. Working in the prison service for many years, I saw men with unsightly prison tattoos, these were horrible and were often carried out to wear the 'badge of being in prison' with pride. I can spot a prison tattoo in a single glimpse.
I would love a family member regardless of piercings, tattoos or modifications to their body, but would not necessarily agree with them doing it. I would feel rather sad if either of my children had ear stretching and can honestly say I am not happy with Rachels tattoos, and she knows that. I guess I feel ear piercing is more acceptable but to be honest, I don't know why...am I a hypocrite? Perhaps. Or perhaps it is my old fashioned, narrow minded views that are hypocritical. I would welcome challenge to my views, and enjoy healthy dialogue about it, but my mind will not be changed. I guess, as a health professional, I also worry about the negative aspects of body modification and tattooing. I have nursed many young people with horrifying disfigurement injuries or resistant infection following both modifications and tattoos. I have held the hand of a teenager who had to endure the removal of necrosed skin following infection after a failed lip piercing. She is now scarred for life. On the flip side, tattoo art can be absolutely beautiful, and I am not so very narrow minded that I cannot admire a work of art carried out by very gifted and talented individuals. I just would not choose to have one myself and I would be happier if my children chose not to have them too.
As for having one, as part of my bucket list. I politely decline, choosing instead to use my bucket list for traveling to India, Vietnam and Cambodia and seeing my lovely girls be successful.
So what do the heavily modified people think? See below a video from the lovely Morgan, you can see and subscribe to her youtube channel here.
In her mind, body modification discrimination is a very real issue.
Morgan: I view body modification discrimination, in the same way as any other kind of discrimination. It's judging a group of people, and treating them differently for whatever reason. In this case, because of how we look, and how we choose to decorate our body. In my opinion, it should be illegal to deny someone employment due to tattoos or piercings. To me it's no different then not employing someone because they are of a different race, religion, etc. It's wrong and it needs to end.
So where do we draw the line? And why have we drawn the line where it is? Cutting and colouring hair and piercing ears is fine in the eyes of most people. What makes other piercings and tattoo's so different? I worked for a company where in the dress code it was fine to have one nose piercing - I'm not sure how they can decide that one kind of modification is more acceptable than another.
I wouldn't consider myself heavily modified, but I have been refused a job on the grounds I had my ear stretched and my top lip pierced, despite stating in the interview that they could be removed. But I was given a job in a well known fast food restaurant with the same mods. I believe body modification discrimination to be a very real thing, but is it a discrimination we just have to accept?
Elizabeth x
For those of you who don't know, Wikipedia defines body modification as:
Body modification (or body alteration) is the deliberate altering of the human anatomy or phenotype. It is often done for aesthetics, sexual enhancement, rites of passage, religious beliefs, to display group membership or affiliation, to create body art, for shock value, and as self-expression, among others reasons. In its most broad definition it includes plastic surgery, socially acceptable decoration (e.g., common ear piercing in many societies), and religious rites of passage (e.g., circumcision in a number of cultures), as well as the modern primitive movement.
You can see the full article here
Body mods are something that are becoming more and more common and you see more and more people in the street with tattoos and piercings in places other than their ears. But speaking to modified people, you see more and more cases of people being refused jobs and being treated differently in public due to body mods. So is it right to discriminate against modified people? Is it even discrimination? I spoke to a mother and daughter who share very different views on body modifications.
Rachel: I think tattoos are awesome. They become a part of the person who gets it, they are personal to the person and have a meaning to them, they may mark an occasion or a period of life. They are a way of self expression, and maybe to remember something special and could be like a scrapbook on the skin I have three tattoos (even though Mum thinks I have more -_-), all which are special to me and I love showing them off! I don't have any piercings any more other than my ears, but have had my lip and nose done in the past. I am supportive over friends getting tattoos and piercings and stuff, I've even told my Mum that getting a tattoo should definitely be on her bucket list.
Jo: My views may appear a little old fashioned to you, but Rachel will confirm, I am quite open minded, and prefer to discuss rather than dictate. However, on this matter, I have very strong views. Piercings, yes, I have my ears and my naval pierced (my mid life crisis along with a sports car) but both, I can cover up or remove if and when necessary without too many problems. I do not have any tattoos. I think that it is ok for any individual to modify their body in whichever way they choose, I am not so narrow minded that I would form an opinion on a person because of their tattoos or piercings. However, I am fully aware of how many of the general public feel about them, and also how employers judge (sometimes unfairly) and it could effect an individuals future career etc. (hence my reasons for Rachel not doing it) Some people, especially the elderly, are afraid of people with body modifications or tattoos. Back in the dark ages, many people who had tattoos were seen as trouble makers. Working in the prison service for many years, I saw men with unsightly prison tattoos, these were horrible and were often carried out to wear the 'badge of being in prison' with pride. I can spot a prison tattoo in a single glimpse.
I would love a family member regardless of piercings, tattoos or modifications to their body, but would not necessarily agree with them doing it. I would feel rather sad if either of my children had ear stretching and can honestly say I am not happy with Rachels tattoos, and she knows that. I guess I feel ear piercing is more acceptable but to be honest, I don't know why...am I a hypocrite? Perhaps. Or perhaps it is my old fashioned, narrow minded views that are hypocritical. I would welcome challenge to my views, and enjoy healthy dialogue about it, but my mind will not be changed. I guess, as a health professional, I also worry about the negative aspects of body modification and tattooing. I have nursed many young people with horrifying disfigurement injuries or resistant infection following both modifications and tattoos. I have held the hand of a teenager who had to endure the removal of necrosed skin following infection after a failed lip piercing. She is now scarred for life. On the flip side, tattoo art can be absolutely beautiful, and I am not so very narrow minded that I cannot admire a work of art carried out by very gifted and talented individuals. I just would not choose to have one myself and I would be happier if my children chose not to have them too.
As for having one, as part of my bucket list. I politely decline, choosing instead to use my bucket list for traveling to India, Vietnam and Cambodia and seeing my lovely girls be successful.
So what do the heavily modified people think? See below a video from the lovely Morgan, you can see and subscribe to her youtube channel here.
In her mind, body modification discrimination is a very real issue.
Morgan: I view body modification discrimination, in the same way as any other kind of discrimination. It's judging a group of people, and treating them differently for whatever reason. In this case, because of how we look, and how we choose to decorate our body. In my opinion, it should be illegal to deny someone employment due to tattoos or piercings. To me it's no different then not employing someone because they are of a different race, religion, etc. It's wrong and it needs to end.
So where do we draw the line? And why have we drawn the line where it is? Cutting and colouring hair and piercing ears is fine in the eyes of most people. What makes other piercings and tattoo's so different? I worked for a company where in the dress code it was fine to have one nose piercing - I'm not sure how they can decide that one kind of modification is more acceptable than another.
I wouldn't consider myself heavily modified, but I have been refused a job on the grounds I had my ear stretched and my top lip pierced, despite stating in the interview that they could be removed. But I was given a job in a well known fast food restaurant with the same mods. I believe body modification discrimination to be a very real thing, but is it a discrimination we just have to accept?
Elizabeth x
Thursday 7 March 2013
Confessions of a Blogger
As I'm still pretty new to this, I thought this would be a fun post. I have some back on form posts planned that I'm currently doing some research for. Hopefully they'll be up soon!
1. When did you start your blog?
I've had this blog a while, but I've only just started posting properly.
2. Have you had any past online presence before? (YouTube, Blog)
I have tumblr, but I'm sure that doesn't count. I used to be pretty popular on MySpace..ha!
3. Why did you start your blog?
I needed somewhere to vent my frustrations at the world!
4. When did you become serious about your blog?
Very recently.
5. What was your first post?
A discussion about the show 'Make Bradford British'
6.What has been your biggest challenge about blogging?
Keeping up to it, and keeping my motivation! And finding ideas to write about!
7.Where do you see your blog in 1 year time?
Hopefully still active! With more views and comments :)
8. What is the most rewarding this about blogging?
Getting record views on posts I love, and hearing people's opinions.
9. What is the discouraging thing that happens to you?
When nobody views a post I love :(
10. What's your lasting inspiration or motivation?
In life...my mum! In blogging, my friend Rebecca who has an amazing up and coming beauty blog http://autumnleaves-x.blogspot.co.uk/
Elizabeth x
1. When did you start your blog?
I've had this blog a while, but I've only just started posting properly.
2. Have you had any past online presence before? (YouTube, Blog)
I have tumblr, but I'm sure that doesn't count. I used to be pretty popular on MySpace..ha!
3. Why did you start your blog?
I needed somewhere to vent my frustrations at the world!
4. When did you become serious about your blog?
Very recently.
5. What was your first post?
A discussion about the show 'Make Bradford British'
6.What has been your biggest challenge about blogging?
Keeping up to it, and keeping my motivation! And finding ideas to write about!
7.Where do you see your blog in 1 year time?
Hopefully still active! With more views and comments :)
8. What is the most rewarding this about blogging?
Getting record views on posts I love, and hearing people's opinions.
9. What is the discouraging thing that happens to you?
When nobody views a post I love :(
10. What's your lasting inspiration or motivation?
In life...my mum! In blogging, my friend Rebecca who has an amazing up and coming beauty blog http://autumnleaves-x.blogspot.co.uk/
Elizabeth x
Sunday 17 February 2013
Taylor Swift: Bad Role Model & a Feminists Nightmare
First things first, apologies for such a long time between blog posts, I promise I'll get better.
So, Taylor Swift. I know there's a lot of posts circulating at the moment regarding Taylor, so as per usual, I decided it was time to stick my opinion in there too. I don't like Taylor Swift, and I think she is a terrible role model for young girls and she is, quite frankly, a disgrace to her own gender. Now, let's get this out there now - this is not an attack on her talent or her looks, I think she is a beautiful young woman and good for her for getting where she is.
Taylor Swift queer shames, slut shames and advocates girl on girl hate. Before you jump to her defence, let's look a little bit more into Taylor shall we? In 2010 Taylor was the same age Beyonce was when Destiny's Child released Independent Women - a song about taking care of yourself and being a strong woman. Whereas Taylor whines about being single or heartbroken in most songs, but we'll look more at that later. But let's all understand that Taylor is not a 'young' prodigy and needs to be treated as an adult woman and it's about time she took some responsibility for the negative messages she's sending.
Okay, let's break down some of her songs shall we? Be warned, I'm a lot more cynical and angry from here on out, I wrote the next bit angry at 3am.
"You belong with me"
No way, a boy you like is with someone else. How dare he? She must be tricking him somehow…she's the devil, because, you're so pure and different and quirky right Taylor? You don't show a lot of skin or wear high heels, that makes you better than her, right Taylor? Wrong. Here's an idea…maybe he just likes her, maybe she's a fun and interesting and smart person, here's another crazy idea…maybe, what you wear doesn't define you. Oh, she's a cheerleader…what a bad person, it's not like cheerleading is hard work, or good exercise or anything. You're america's sweetheart, you write songs and sit on the bleachers, must have been really super hard for you. Born into money, writing angst lyrics any fifteen year old would be proud of (I know my 15 year old, self proclaimed 'emo' self would have been).
"Fifteen"
"Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool" - at it again are you Taylor? Sorry, I forgot, you're better than other girls, my bad…go ahead.
"you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team" wow, a redeeming part of this song, well said Taylor, actually, ahem…
"abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind" she's baaaack, clearly a reference to losing virginity here, as women are clearly only as good as their hymens.
"Picture to burn"
"So go and tell your friends, That I’m obsessive and crazy, That’s fine, I’ll tell mine, You’re gay.
1. you seem pretty obsessive and crazy petal (see we are never ever getting back together).
2. You're either using gay as an insult, which is pretty pathetic, immature and totally NOT OKAY. Or you're outing someone you know to be homosexual, which is pretty pathetic, immature and totally NOT OKAY.
Okay, I just watched the video, it starts with Taylor and a girl SPYING on her ex, but she's not obsessive and crazy…obviously. And they are outraged that he is with another girl…how dare he move on from an obsessive, crazy girl who just told his friends he was gay for no apparent reason. And the end of the video shows her having trashed his house?! Really not helping the obsessive and crazy thing are you?
Now, I do know that she has changed the lyrics (regarding the gay comment), realised that they're WRONG have you dear?
"We are never ever getting back together"
Oh god, I have no words. Maybe it's you love.
I'm done with pulling her songs apart now, so I watched some interviews with Taylor. I picked the ones with Ellen because I figure she's on there the most. Here are some points I picked up on.
I'm going to have to rein myself in here and stop, but yeah, see why I think Taylor Swift is a bad role model, and well, dammit, a feminists nightmare. I'd love to hear what you think in the comments.
Elizabeth x
So, Taylor Swift. I know there's a lot of posts circulating at the moment regarding Taylor, so as per usual, I decided it was time to stick my opinion in there too. I don't like Taylor Swift, and I think she is a terrible role model for young girls and she is, quite frankly, a disgrace to her own gender. Now, let's get this out there now - this is not an attack on her talent or her looks, I think she is a beautiful young woman and good for her for getting where she is.
Taylor Swift queer shames, slut shames and advocates girl on girl hate. Before you jump to her defence, let's look a little bit more into Taylor shall we? In 2010 Taylor was the same age Beyonce was when Destiny's Child released Independent Women - a song about taking care of yourself and being a strong woman. Whereas Taylor whines about being single or heartbroken in most songs, but we'll look more at that later. But let's all understand that Taylor is not a 'young' prodigy and needs to be treated as an adult woman and it's about time she took some responsibility for the negative messages she's sending.
Okay, let's break down some of her songs shall we? Be warned, I'm a lot more cynical and angry from here on out, I wrote the next bit angry at 3am.
"You belong with me"
No way, a boy you like is with someone else. How dare he? She must be tricking him somehow…she's the devil, because, you're so pure and different and quirky right Taylor? You don't show a lot of skin or wear high heels, that makes you better than her, right Taylor? Wrong. Here's an idea…maybe he just likes her, maybe she's a fun and interesting and smart person, here's another crazy idea…maybe, what you wear doesn't define you. Oh, she's a cheerleader…what a bad person, it's not like cheerleading is hard work, or good exercise or anything. You're america's sweetheart, you write songs and sit on the bleachers, must have been really super hard for you. Born into money, writing angst lyrics any fifteen year old would be proud of (I know my 15 year old, self proclaimed 'emo' self would have been).
"Fifteen"
"Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool" - at it again are you Taylor? Sorry, I forgot, you're better than other girls, my bad…go ahead.
"you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team" wow, a redeeming part of this song, well said Taylor, actually, ahem…
"abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind" she's baaaack, clearly a reference to losing virginity here, as women are clearly only as good as their hymens.
"Picture to burn"
"So go and tell your friends, That I’m obsessive and crazy, That’s fine, I’ll tell mine, You’re gay.
1. you seem pretty obsessive and crazy petal (see we are never ever getting back together).
2. You're either using gay as an insult, which is pretty pathetic, immature and totally NOT OKAY. Or you're outing someone you know to be homosexual, which is pretty pathetic, immature and totally NOT OKAY.
Okay, I just watched the video, it starts with Taylor and a girl SPYING on her ex, but she's not obsessive and crazy…obviously. And they are outraged that he is with another girl…how dare he move on from an obsessive, crazy girl who just told his friends he was gay for no apparent reason. And the end of the video shows her having trashed his house?! Really not helping the obsessive and crazy thing are you?
Now, I do know that she has changed the lyrics (regarding the gay comment), realised that they're WRONG have you dear?
"We are never ever getting back together"
Oh god, I have no words. Maybe it's you love.
I'm done with pulling her songs apart now, so I watched some interviews with Taylor. I picked the ones with Ellen because I figure she's on there the most. Here are some points I picked up on.
- Taylor doesn't think girls should get drunk because it 'isn't cute'. Hey you, stop judging me.
- Taylor complains that Ellen always shows her with different guys and that makes her question what she's doing with her life, and every visit it's been a different guy and that makes her sad. Hell no girl, if you want to date a tonne of dudes, you go for it. It's totally healthy, express yourself while you're young.
- When Taylor talks about high-school she mentions she was alone a lot and she wouldn't be invited to stuff, but it was okay because she could write a song about it. Okay Taylor, but make sure you slut shame and call out all the other girls you've decided you're better than. Hey, Taylor, everyone was awkward in high school, no big deal.
I'm going to have to rein myself in here and stop, but yeah, see why I think Taylor Swift is a bad role model, and well, dammit, a feminists nightmare. I'd love to hear what you think in the comments.
Elizabeth x
Monday 7 January 2013
Anxiety & Depression
I'm not sure if the time is right for me to post this here as this is something I am still dealing with, but I feel like I am making a recovery right now and I am in a better place than I have been in for a while. I want to talk about anxiety & depression, something I have been dealing with for some time now, a little on my own but now I am seeking help and I have the support of my family and my loving boyfriend.
The statistics for mental health in the UK alone are staggering, 1 in 4 people in the UK will suffer with a mental illness over the course of a year. That's a lot of people, and I would hate to think that anyone would suffer alone, but people do. And if I can help one person by just talking about this on such an open forum then I would feel that I had made an impact.
I want to stress how important it is to speak to someone, anyone. My recovery has been slow but effective and it's thanks to speaking to someone. The first person I really spoke to was Ian and wanting to plan our future together I was really inspired to sort my head out. I was sick of feeling down ...something that was really hard for me to come out and say.
I spoke to my GP and I was referred to a councillor, who has been nothing but wonderful for me. And I have nothing but good things to say about the NHS, my referral was super quick and my GP and therapist have been fantastic to speak to. I can't comment on anyone in any other part of the world, but I know the NHS have been wonderful. I have also been prescribed anti-depressants which the jury is still out on.
I suffer with serious anxiety and I have panic attacks over what would seem to be small things. I struggle to go anywhere busy (or not busy for that matter). But I have made a promise to myself that I will get better.
One thing I hate more than anything is the serious lack of understanding for mental health issues, what if we were to treat physical illnesses the same way mental illness is treated? It wouldn't be acceptable! Mental illnesses can be just as debilitating as some physical illnesses. Mental illness shouldn't be, and isn't something to be ashamed of. I know it's not easy to speak about it openly, and certainly something that I'm sure nobody would want to broadcast to the whole world, but people should feel comfortable to speak about these things openly where appropriate to them.
I am in no way a mental health expert, nor am I a doctor or a therapist, this is just me talking about my own experiences. Please, if you are worried about your own mental health or someone else's, talk to someone. If you feel like you have nobody to talk to, please feel free to email me or comment on this post, go to your doctor, talk to family or friends. Someone, anyone. I promise you are not alone.
Elizabeth x
The statistics for mental health in the UK alone are staggering, 1 in 4 people in the UK will suffer with a mental illness over the course of a year. That's a lot of people, and I would hate to think that anyone would suffer alone, but people do. And if I can help one person by just talking about this on such an open forum then I would feel that I had made an impact.
I want to stress how important it is to speak to someone, anyone. My recovery has been slow but effective and it's thanks to speaking to someone. The first person I really spoke to was Ian and wanting to plan our future together I was really inspired to sort my head out. I was sick of feeling down ...something that was really hard for me to come out and say.
I spoke to my GP and I was referred to a councillor, who has been nothing but wonderful for me. And I have nothing but good things to say about the NHS, my referral was super quick and my GP and therapist have been fantastic to speak to. I can't comment on anyone in any other part of the world, but I know the NHS have been wonderful. I have also been prescribed anti-depressants which the jury is still out on.
I suffer with serious anxiety and I have panic attacks over what would seem to be small things. I struggle to go anywhere busy (or not busy for that matter). But I have made a promise to myself that I will get better.
One thing I hate more than anything is the serious lack of understanding for mental health issues, what if we were to treat physical illnesses the same way mental illness is treated? It wouldn't be acceptable! Mental illnesses can be just as debilitating as some physical illnesses. Mental illness shouldn't be, and isn't something to be ashamed of. I know it's not easy to speak about it openly, and certainly something that I'm sure nobody would want to broadcast to the whole world, but people should feel comfortable to speak about these things openly where appropriate to them.
I am in no way a mental health expert, nor am I a doctor or a therapist, this is just me talking about my own experiences. Please, if you are worried about your own mental health or someone else's, talk to someone. If you feel like you have nobody to talk to, please feel free to email me or comment on this post, go to your doctor, talk to family or friends. Someone, anyone. I promise you are not alone.
Elizabeth x
Things Kids Don't Get Taught & Definitely Should!
I've been thinking, as a newly fully fledged adult, that kids don't get taught some pretty important life lessons, either in school or by their parents, friends & families. If you have any others that you think of leave them in the comments, I'd love to spark and interesting discussion about this!
First off, being fat isn't important, being thin isn't important. Being happy and healthy is important. As mentioned in my previous post (stop slut shaming), society and the media have a very strong idea of what makes a woman beautiful. Fuck that, everyone is beautiful in their own skin, confidence is sexy, happiness is beautiful.
Kids are taught that homosexuality is okay, and so they should be, homosexuality is wonderful and should be more widely accepted. But let's teach kids that bisexuality & pansexuality is okay too, so is asexuality. You don't need to want to have a sexual relationship with anyone.
Kids, and girls especially are taught about how to 'look good', by removing body hair. Legs, armpits, bikini line etc. If you don't want to do that, you don't have to! If you want to...cool, but make the decision based on your own preferences, not anyone else's preferences. I shave my armpits because I think they smell worse when I don't (phew!), but I very rarely shave my legs, because I don't always want to. See how simple that is?
Something that has always confused me is how kids are never taught real 'life' skills in schools. They should be taught about taxes and mortgages and finding a job and a career and paying bills. We live in a time that is experiencing serious financial problems, and I can't help but wonder if we were educated better maybe this situation wouldn't be so terrible?
If you don't identify with your own gender, that is totally fine. If you're born a man, and you see yourself as a woman...good for you, you go be a woman if you want. Nobody should be able to stop you from doing that. It's your body and your brain and that's okay.
Hate is something that people are born with, it's something that is taught. So let's change it...let's teach kids to be accepting, well rounded individuals.
Elizabeth x
First off, being fat isn't important, being thin isn't important. Being happy and healthy is important. As mentioned in my previous post (stop slut shaming), society and the media have a very strong idea of what makes a woman beautiful. Fuck that, everyone is beautiful in their own skin, confidence is sexy, happiness is beautiful.
Kids are taught that homosexuality is okay, and so they should be, homosexuality is wonderful and should be more widely accepted. But let's teach kids that bisexuality & pansexuality is okay too, so is asexuality. You don't need to want to have a sexual relationship with anyone.
Kids, and girls especially are taught about how to 'look good', by removing body hair. Legs, armpits, bikini line etc. If you don't want to do that, you don't have to! If you want to...cool, but make the decision based on your own preferences, not anyone else's preferences. I shave my armpits because I think they smell worse when I don't (phew!), but I very rarely shave my legs, because I don't always want to. See how simple that is?
Something that has always confused me is how kids are never taught real 'life' skills in schools. They should be taught about taxes and mortgages and finding a job and a career and paying bills. We live in a time that is experiencing serious financial problems, and I can't help but wonder if we were educated better maybe this situation wouldn't be so terrible?
If you don't identify with your own gender, that is totally fine. If you're born a man, and you see yourself as a woman...good for you, you go be a woman if you want. Nobody should be able to stop you from doing that. It's your body and your brain and that's okay.
Hate is something that people are born with, it's something that is taught. So let's change it...let's teach kids to be accepting, well rounded individuals.
Elizabeth x
Stop Slut Shaming!
Today I went on my FaceBook and saw a girl I know post that her school was full of 'sluts', and mentioned wearing skirts and girls who look like sluts as a result. This sparked my desire to write about this again, and I know there has been a lot of posts and vlogs about this recently, some of which I agree with and some of which I disagree with, I'll post some video links below. Women, as a gender have a really rough time of things, in the media and with social perceptions of 'perfect', and I really don't think we need to make things harder for each other by hating on other girls!
Ladies, I want you to think about a time when you've seen another girl, in public, on TV, in a magazine...wherever, and you've thought to yourself "she looks like a slut" or something similar, if you've made comments on her looks, her hair, her clothes or her makeup, judging her solely on these features. Now I want you to look at yourself and think what other girls might say about you, and I want you to think how unfounded their comments would be...you're a nice person, right? You have a wonderful personality and people just need to get to know you, right? Bam.
Not one female in this world is totally secure with themselves, some people more secure than others...sure. But everyone has hangups about something, and trust me you are your own worst critic. But honestly, the last thing anyone needs is hating on for something as trivial as appearance or promiscuity, especially not from other girls...we all need to support each other, we all know what we're going through more than anyone else ever could, so why are we hating on each other so much?
Also, if a girl wants to be with more than one sexual partner or a lot of sexual partners, that is totally fine, as long, of course she is being safe. It is not one persons place to judge someone else's sex life. Your body, your choice! It is not important how many people someone has slept with in their life.
So basically what I'm saying is stop the girl hate, it's not cool. And I'm not saying I'm innocent of judging another girl or saying horrible things about her before knowing anything about her, but it's my new years resolution to be more aware of what I'm saying about someone. Let's look after each other ladies, yeah?
Elizabeth x
Laci Green puts what I'm saying in a more wonderful way here:
http://youtu.be/1t0UvvYs3AE
And Jenna Marbles (disappointingly) showcases exactly what we shouldn't be doing.
http://youtu.be/EU20JnsYiXc
Ladies, I want you to think about a time when you've seen another girl, in public, on TV, in a magazine...wherever, and you've thought to yourself "she looks like a slut" or something similar, if you've made comments on her looks, her hair, her clothes or her makeup, judging her solely on these features. Now I want you to look at yourself and think what other girls might say about you, and I want you to think how unfounded their comments would be...you're a nice person, right? You have a wonderful personality and people just need to get to know you, right? Bam.
Not one female in this world is totally secure with themselves, some people more secure than others...sure. But everyone has hangups about something, and trust me you are your own worst critic. But honestly, the last thing anyone needs is hating on for something as trivial as appearance or promiscuity, especially not from other girls...we all need to support each other, we all know what we're going through more than anyone else ever could, so why are we hating on each other so much?
Also, if a girl wants to be with more than one sexual partner or a lot of sexual partners, that is totally fine, as long, of course she is being safe. It is not one persons place to judge someone else's sex life. Your body, your choice! It is not important how many people someone has slept with in their life.
So basically what I'm saying is stop the girl hate, it's not cool. And I'm not saying I'm innocent of judging another girl or saying horrible things about her before knowing anything about her, but it's my new years resolution to be more aware of what I'm saying about someone. Let's look after each other ladies, yeah?
Elizabeth x
Laci Green puts what I'm saying in a more wonderful way here:
http://youtu.be/1t0UvvYs3AE
And Jenna Marbles (disappointingly) showcases exactly what we shouldn't be doing.
http://youtu.be/EU20JnsYiXc
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