Taylor Swift: Bad Role Model & a Feminists Nightmare

First things first, apologies for such a long time between blog posts, I promise I'll get better.

So, Taylor Swift. I know there's a lot of posts circulating at the moment regarding Taylor, so as per usual, I decided it was time to stick my opinion in there too. I don't like Taylor Swift, and I think she is a terrible role model for young girls and she is, quite frankly, a disgrace to her own gender. Now, let's get this out there now - this is not an attack on her talent or her looks, I think she is a beautiful young woman and good for her for getting where she is.

Taylor Swift queer shames, slut shames and advocates girl on girl hate. Before you jump to her defence, let's look a little bit more into Taylor shall we? In 2010 Taylor was the same age Beyonce was when Destiny's Child released Independent Women - a song about taking care of yourself and being a strong woman. Whereas Taylor whines about being single or heartbroken in most songs, but we'll look more at that later. But let's all understand that Taylor is not a 'young' prodigy and needs to be treated as an adult woman and it's about time she took some responsibility for the negative messages she's sending.

Okay, let's break down some of her songs shall we? Be warned, I'm a lot more cynical and angry from here on out, I wrote the next bit angry at 3am.


"You belong with me" 
No way, a boy you like is with someone else. How dare he? She must be tricking him somehow…she's the devil, because, you're so pure and different and quirky right Taylor? You don't show a lot of skin or wear high heels, that makes you better than her, right Taylor? Wrong. Here's an idea…maybe he just likes her, maybe she's a fun and interesting and smart person, here's another crazy idea…maybe, what you wear doesn't define you. Oh, she's a cheerleader…what a bad person, it's not like cheerleading is hard work, or good exercise or anything. You're america's sweetheart, you write songs and sit on the bleachers, must have been really super hard for you. Born into money, writing angst lyrics any fifteen year old would be proud of (I know my 15 year old, self proclaimed 'emo' self would have been). 


"Fifteen"
"Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool" - at it again are you Taylor? Sorry, I forgot, you're better than other girls, my bad…go ahead.
"you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team" wow, a redeeming part of this song, well said Taylor, actually, ahem…
"abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind" she's baaaack, clearly a reference to losing virginity here, as women are clearly only as good as their hymens. 


"Picture to burn"
"So go and tell your friends, That I’m obsessive and crazy, That’s fine, I’ll tell mine, You’re gay.
1. you seem pretty obsessive and crazy petal (see we are never ever getting back together).
2. You're either using gay as an insult, which is pretty pathetic, immature and totally NOT OKAY. Or you're outing someone you know to be homosexual, which is pretty pathetic, immature and totally NOT OKAY.
Okay, I just watched the video, it starts with Taylor and a girl SPYING on her ex, but she's not obsessive and crazy…obviously. And they are outraged that he is with another girl…how dare he move on from an obsessive, crazy girl who just told his friends he was gay for no apparent reason. And the end of the video shows her having trashed his house?! Really not helping the obsessive and crazy thing are you?
 Now, I do know that she has changed the lyrics (regarding the gay comment), realised that they're WRONG have you dear?

"We are never ever getting back together"
Oh god, I have no words. Maybe it's you love.

I'm done with pulling her songs apart now, so I watched some interviews with Taylor. I picked the ones with Ellen because I figure she's on there the most. Here are some points I picked up on.

• Taylor doesn't think girls should get drunk because it 'isn't cute'. Hey you, stop judging me.
• Taylor complains that Ellen always shows her with different guys and that makes her question what she's doing with her life, and every visit it's been a different guy and that makes her sad. Hell no girl, if you want to date a tonne of dudes, you go for it. It's totally healthy, express yourself while you're young.
• When Taylor talks about high-school she mentions she was alone a lot and she wouldn't be invited to stuff, but it was okay because she could write a song about it. Okay Taylor, but make sure you slut shame and call out all the other girls you've decided you're better than. Hey, Taylor, everyone was awkward in high school, no big deal.

I'm going to have to rein myself in here and stop, but yeah, see why I think Taylor Swift is a bad role model, and well, dammit, a feminists nightmare. I'd love to hear what you think in the comments.

Elizabeth x

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Anxiety & Depression

I'm not sure if the time is right for me to post this here as this is something I am still dealing with, but I feel like I am making a recovery right now and I am in a better place than I have been in for a while. I want to talk about anxiety & depression, something I have been dealing with for some time now, a little on my own but now I am seeking help and I have the support of my family and my loving boyfriend.

The statistics for mental health in the UK alone are staggering, 1 in 4 people in the UK will suffer with a mental illness over the course of a year. That's a lot of people, and I would hate to think that anyone would suffer alone, but people do. And if I can help one person by just talking about this on such an open forum then I would feel that I had made an impact.

I want to stress how important it is to speak to someone, anyone. My recovery has been slow but effective and it's thanks to speaking to someone. The first person I really spoke to was Ian and wanting to plan our future together I was really inspired to sort my head out. I was sick of feeling down ...something that was really hard for me to come out and say.

I spoke to my GP and I was referred to a councillor, who has been nothing but wonderful for me. And I have nothing but good things to say about the NHS, my referral was super quick and my GP and therapist have been fantastic to speak to. I can't comment on anyone in any other part of the world, but I know the NHS have been wonderful. I have also been prescribed anti-depressants which the jury is still out on.

I suffer with serious anxiety and I have panic attacks over what would seem to be small things. I struggle to go anywhere busy (or not busy for that matter). But I have made a promise to myself that I will get better.

One thing I hate more than anything is the serious lack of understanding for mental health issues, what if we were to treat physical illnesses the same way mental illness is treated? It wouldn't be acceptable! Mental illnesses can be just as debilitating as some physical illnesses. Mental illness shouldn't be, and isn't something to be ashamed of. I know it's not easy to speak about it openly, and certainly something that I'm sure nobody would want to broadcast to the whole world, but people should feel comfortable to speak about these things openly where appropriate to them.

I am in no way a mental health expert, nor am I a doctor or a therapist, this is just me talking about my own experiences. Please, if you are worried about your own mental health or someone else's, talk to someone. If you feel like you have nobody to talk to, please feel free to email me or comment on this post, go to your doctor, talk to family or friends. Someone, anyone. I promise you are not alone.

Elizabeth x

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Things Kids Don't Get Taught & Definitely Should!

   I've been thinking, as a newly fully fledged adult, that kids don't get taught some pretty important life lessons, either in school or by their parents, friends & families. If you have any others that you think of leave them in the comments, I'd love to spark and interesting discussion about this!

   First off, being fat isn't important, being thin isn't important. Being happy and healthy is important. As mentioned in my previous post (stop slut shaming), society and the media have a very strong idea of what makes a woman beautiful. Fuck that, everyone is beautiful in their own skin, confidence is sexy, happiness is beautiful.

   Kids are taught that homosexuality is okay, and so they should be, homosexuality is wonderful and should be more widely accepted. But let's teach kids that bisexuality & pansexuality is okay too, so is asexuality. You don't need to want to have a sexual relationship with anyone.

   Kids, and girls especially are taught about how to 'look good', by removing body hair. Legs, armpits, bikini line etc. If you don't want to do that, you don't have to! If you want to...cool, but make the decision based on your own preferences, not anyone else's preferences. I shave my armpits because I think they smell worse when I don't (phew!), but I very rarely shave my legs, because I don't always want to. See how simple that is?

   Something that has always confused me is how kids are never taught real 'life' skills in schools. They should be taught about taxes and mortgages and finding a job and a career and paying bills. We live in a time that is experiencing serious financial problems, and I can't help but wonder if we were educated better maybe this situation wouldn't be so terrible?

   If you don't identify with your own gender, that is totally fine. If you're born a man, and you see yourself as a woman...good for you, you go be a woman if you want. Nobody should be able to stop you from doing that. It's your body and your brain and that's okay.

   Hate is something that people are born with, it's something that is taught. So let's change it...let's teach kids to be accepting, well rounded individuals.

Elizabeth x
 

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Stop Slut Shaming!

   Today I went on my FaceBook and saw a girl I know post that her school was full of 'sluts', and mentioned wearing skirts and girls who look like sluts as a result. This sparked my desire to write about this again, and I know there has been a lot of posts and vlogs about this recently, some of which I agree with and some of which I disagree with, I'll post some video links below. Women, as a gender have a really rough time of things, in the media and with social perceptions of 'perfect', and I really don't think we need to make things harder for each other by hating on other girls!

   Ladies, I want you to think about a time when you've seen another girl, in public, on TV, in a magazine...wherever, and you've thought to yourself "she looks like a slut" or something similar, if you've made comments on her looks, her hair, her clothes or her makeup, judging her solely on these features. Now I want you to look at yourself and think what other girls might say about you, and I want you to think how unfounded their comments would be...you're a nice person, right? You have a wonderful personality and people just need to get to know you, right? Bam.

   Not one female in this world is totally secure with themselves, some people more secure than others...sure. But everyone has hangups about something, and trust me you are your own worst critic. But honestly, the last thing anyone needs is hating on for something as trivial as appearance or promiscuity, especially not from other girls...we all need to support each other, we all know what we're going through more than anyone else ever could, so why are we hating on each other so much?

   Also, if a girl wants to be with more than one sexual partner or a lot of sexual partners, that is totally fine, as long, of course she is being safe. It is not one persons place to judge someone else's sex life. Your body, your choice! It is not important how many people someone has slept with in their life.

   So basically what I'm saying is stop the girl hate, it's not cool. And I'm not saying I'm innocent of judging another girl or saying horrible things about her before knowing anything about her, but it's my new years resolution to be more aware of what I'm saying about someone. Let's look after each other ladies, yeah?

Elizabeth x

Laci Green puts what I'm saying in a more wonderful way here:
http://youtu.be/1t0UvvYs3AE

And Jenna Marbles (disappointingly) showcases exactly what we shouldn't be doing.
http://youtu.be/EU20JnsYiXc

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Make Bradford British

I am a 20 year old, white, female and I have lived in Bradford for most of my life. I now work for one of the largest employers in the city and I commute daily on the public transport system. I live, work and play in Bradford. It is my home.

Bradford is also home to a lot of other people, and until today, I honestly believed I lived in a tolerant, multicultural society. I am proud to be from Bradford. I am proud to call myself a tolerant individual.

Tonight, I watched the channel 4 documentary "Make Bradford British" and I have never been so ashamed of the people I share a community with. Of 111 people who took the citizenship test, 11 people passed. That means 100 people who call themselves british, under any circumstance other than birth would not be permitted to reside in the UK.

I was disgusted that I live among such bigoted, racist and hateful people. Every single human being has a right to live in a safe place, has a right to feel welcome wherever they go. The colour of someone's skin does not make them any less human.

I watched people who are my parents age, who are my age, who are my grandparents age, from different cultures and backgrounds show little to no understanding of any culture but their own, and I am appalled.

Some things I identified the most were:

An older lady suggesting that she simply could not just go and ask a Muslim person about their culture and religion. Why the hell not? When I lived in BD2 (central Bradford, clearly), I lived next door to a lady who had the most interesting, tolerant and intelligent little boy for her grandson. He is being raised Muslim as his father is also Muslim, his mother however is not. I won't name him, but he had chosen to follow his fathers faith. He came to visit his grandmother on a regular basis and as a group (him, myself, his grandmother and my mother) would sit in their garden and he would tell us what it meant for him to be Muslim. He would tell us about his faith and what he was learning every day.

It is by no means difficult to ask someone about their faith, about their culture. Look at yourself for a moment, would you be happy to tell someone what it meant to be you. What your view on faith is? What your holidays mean? Of course you would, you should be proud of your heritage. Why not take an interest in someone else's?

Then, whilst in a stalely home just outside of the centre, a lady of mixed race, and I apologise here as I do not know her faith or heritage, but she was referring to herself as 'black', was looking at portraits of British people in the 1600's and complaining about the lack of black people in said paintings. If you cannot see the idiocy in this then I suggest doing some history lessons on Britain.

I watched a man, so narrow minded that believed that calling someone a 'black bastard' as a joke when he had known them for 3 days acceptable. Who believed that the term 'paki bashing' was acceptable. He was an older man from a suburb of Bradford which is populated exclusively by white people.

I am ashamed of every single one of those people on that programme. Except one, a young Muslim girl who had accepted every background, colour, religion and heritage as the same. Who understood that faith is not about going to your place of worship all the time. Who understood that tolerance is easy.

That is my point. Tolerance is easy, we just need to see past every single bit of racism that is hiding within us.

I saw someone who I would call a friend suggest that calling someone a 'paki bastard' is acceptable. Someone who had little to no grasp on the English language. How dare someone who clearly has no respect for their own culture make such awful comments on someone else's.

This programme is on again next week, and please expect another post on this.

Bradford is British, and we are not all intolerant, uneducated, bigoted fools. I promise.

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